It is finally here! I am so excited I could poop out a rainbow and a pot of gold after if it didn’t hurt too bad. This is my last semester of university… that’s right, in exactly four months I will be a college graduate. It has seriously been a long time coming, like a volcano that has been thousands of years overdue for an explosion. It hasn’t all been smooth sailing, especially during this past year I caught the senioritis… pretty bad too. I had to force myself to get out of bed and I barely passed biology by the skin of my teeth this summer. When you are an “A” and “B” student and you are satisfied with a “D”, it’s pretty much time to call it quits.
Up to this point, I have graduated high school (2007), moved to Texas to get my Associate’s degree in acting (waste of time), moved to the boonies in my home state to get my Bachelor’s degree in theater, changed my major to journalism upon a professor’s recommendation, moved back home to the city to go to a better university and get my Bachelor’s degree from a school with a better reputation. That seems like a long time to get a Bachelor’s degree, right? Actually, I began attending four-year university in 2010, so in reality I am graduating with a four year degree in just under four years. Thank you Texas for stalling this process and making me a 25-year-old college graduate.
This summer semester was the absolute worst of my whole college career. Why? Thanks for asking. I had two courses: one was an internship, the other was the second biology class that is required for all students that I put off until the last minute. Number one… why on God’s green earth would a school make you take TWO science courses if it is not your major? That is the first problem. Number two… the class was so horrible I would rather have gotten run over by a semi truck and then taken to King Joffrey to have my head cut off and put on a stake. The majority of the class got mediocre grades and I was reduced to the point of begging the teacher to just PLEASE not fail me. I end up with a “D” in the class and do my happy dance.
After this short-lived victory, I realize that the battle is not yet won. No, I must plow my way through TWO more classes. One of which is what we college seniors call a “throw away” class. It is for my minor, it is a theater class, it requires no effort whatsoever. The other class is Communication Law and Regulation. It is a royal B*TCH. I have taken this class once before and failed. Everyone who takes this class the first time fails. It sucks harder than a Plecostomus sucks algae. It gets even better… my professor is the one that everyone says is the most difficult and he also wrote one of the textbooks that is required for the course. I’ll probably have to be institutionalized after it’s over. SUPER fun!
It has been fun, college, but now I must kick your ass and say farewell to you for good. Maybe we can party together once more before I leave you to move on to bigger and better things. **Bring tacos** Watch me say this and then have to go to grad school because no one cares about Bachelor’s degrees anymore. Spending all that money just to be unemployed like a high-school graduate gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling inside… like you had too much alcohol and you feel like you want to kill the person who said a college degree will get you a better salary.