Stop Fooling Yourself; He’s Just Not That Into You

So here are the rules:

– He’s just not that into you if he is not asking you out

– He’s just not that into you if he’s not calling you

– He’s just not that into you, if he’s not dating you

– He’s just not that into you, if he is not having sex with you

– He’s just not that into you if he is having sex with someone else

– He’s just not that into you if he only wants to see you when he’s drunk

– He’s just not that into you if he doesn’t want to marry you

– He’s just not that into you if he is breaking up with you

– He’s just not that into you if he has disappeared on you

– He’s just not that into you if he is married (and other insane reasons)

– He’s just not that into you if he’s a selfish jerk or a bully

Well, I will admit that is quite of a list, isn’t it? It could potentially be quite depressing. Some of my girlfriends after reading this book, had to practically cut off ALL the people they were dating. Some of you girls reading will have to do the same. Now, did my girlfriends actually go out and cut ALL these people off? Some did and some didn’t but the ones that didn’t are wishing they had.

Now, this book and its hard-and-fast rules did cause a bit of an outrage; the movie even more so. But the truth is, girls are plain hissy fit (pissed) off, that such rules apply and men are in denial about their behavior. I’ve experienced it – and seen it – too many times to count. So I kind of wanted to get to the bottom of it all and see what was really going on. Since this was a book for women, written primarily by a guy… guys do you think that it is accurate? More so, are any of you guys willing to ADMIT that some of these rules do actually apply? Or is it some sort of subconscious ritual you guys perpetuate living by these rules but not actually realizing it?

I think a lot of girls don’t like reading this book, because they DO NOT want to accept that the guy/s they are dating, need to be thrown off their potential suitor list. I will say this one thing that I KNOW is absolutely true when it comes to women. Women are lean, mean excuse machines! Partnered with poor self-esteem, we can think of every excuse under the sun that will justify a man’s behavior, his lack of calls, his lack of caring, his inability to be a considerate person. For some reason, women like living in this delusional fantasy land, which usually could not be further removed from the actual truth!

If there is ONE thing this movie did. It was to give permission to other women to tell their girlfriends, look “maybe he’s just not that into you.” I admit I have had these conversations with my friends and they have had that conversation with me! No longer do we have to provide this fake support, only built on temporarily trying to make the other person feel better. It’s so much more liberating being able to say that wonderful catch phrase, being able to have a laugh about it and then yelling out “NEXT!”

It’s kind of like bringing a whole new awareness, adding a whole new light on something that was previously left in the dark. Now, I’m not saying that everything in this book should be taken to heart. In fact I have learnt that life doesn’t always go by the rules you THINK it should. It’s messy, unplanned and ultimately uniquely spectacular in its own way. So for the ladies YES, there will be some unique instances when the situation you have with this guy is unique and YES, some things might work out just the way you hoped.

In the end, ladies, it’s really NOT that hard to tell if a guy is into you or not. They aren’t complicated creatures; women complicate things by not reading the obvious, crystal clear, black-and-white signs that he’s just not that into you! It’s easy. But if there is one line I would say hold the absolute truth in the book/movie it would be this:

Always think of yourself as the rule, rather than the exception.

I want to hear your thoughts.

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9 thoughts on “Stop Fooling Yourself; He’s Just Not That Into You

  1. I don’t agree with the first one. There have been many times I have wanted to ask a woman out, but I have been far too scared of rejection to do so. Just because he’s not asking you out doesn’t mean he’s not into you. He might be super shy… but… even if he’s super shy… he will be there for you. He will compliment you, he will call you, he will listen to you talk about the guys you like. All the while wishing he had the guts to ask you out. But the other rules seem pretty spot on. If he likes you, he will not treat you like dirt!!! And there’s one not on the list. A lot of men blame it on how they were raised. Bull crap!! Hard fast rules:
    Real men have feelings.
    Real men show feelings.
    Real men treat a lady, Like a lady.
    Real men don’t sleep around.
    Real men know that sex is only part of a relationship, not the whole thing.
    Real men are kind and considerate.
    Real men will say “I love you”
    Real men know its OK to cry.
    Real men listen.
    Real men are tough when it’s needed, but also tender when it’s needed.
    Real men will never disappear.
    Real men will never… ever… make you feel like less of a person.
    Sorry for the rant. I just hear about all these men treating their women like crap and I wonder, how would they react if someone treated their mother, sister, or close female friend like that?!
    A real man seems to be rare now… but they are out there. Don’t ever settle for someone who doesn’t treat you like the wonderful women you all are!!

    • My ex-boyfriend basically was every single rule in that list. It was only after that I realized, but I read this book a few months ago and after I read it, things began to make sense and that’s when I walked away. I know for a fact I never meant much to him and the rules written by the man who wrote the book are real and they o apply. I urge women to read this book if they are with a guy like that or might be with one in the future.

  2. I agree with the 10 dot points, except the first one. Not everyone is ready for a relationship, and if a guy is broken man, but really likes a certain lady, it is more loving to hold off the relationship for a while than to jump straight in.

    • Everyone disagrees with the first one but I think it means something different than what everyone is thinking. The first rule “He’s not into you if he’s not asking you out,” is talking about asking you out after you have been on countless “dates” or have known each other for an extended period of time. Of course no guy is automatically going to ask a woman to be his girlfriend or even to go steady, but I think this is what this statement means.

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